Are You a Slave to Your Schedule? Relearning Your Natural Rhythm

Recently, I realised I was feeling a nagging sense of guilt about ditching my usual fast-paced routine and carving out more time for myself. I don’t think I am alone - especially among those with chronic symptoms.

Those with chronic symptoms tend to share certain personality traits. Many learned early on that they were valued for what they did and how much they achieved. They become high achievers, people pleasers, and tend to ignore their own needs. In doing so, they learn to override their body’s internal wisdom - even when it’s asking them to slow down.

We are restricted by our society's schedule

On top of this, we are taught - literally from birth - to live to a timetable. Babies are expected to arrive on time. If you’re not “on schedule,” labour is often induced.

We go to school between 9am and 3pm, Monday to Friday, starting at a set age (to suit the school), not when we’re actually ready. Then we’re expected to work a 40-hour week, typically 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday. We now retire at age 67. Like it or not, that’s the way our society has been set up.

We eat to set times. We sleep to set times. We wake up to set times - so we can continue working to them.

But life shouldn’t have to be lived by a rigid timetable, should it? The body - and the planet - have their own rhythms and cycles that need to be honoured. When we don’t honour them, things start to go awry.

For example, with my first child, I was given medication to induce labour because she was two weeks “late.” But my body clearly wasn’t ready. The birth became long and drawn out, eventually requiring further intervention, and she was delivered via ventouse. It was traumatic for me and my daughter.

I have never been an early bird, and my mum had a struggle on her hands every day trying to get me out of bed in time for school. I can still remember her shouting, “Are you getting up?” from her bedroom, to which I would shout back, “YES!” from the comfort of my bed! Getting up early was even more exhausting as a teenager, when your body actually needs more sleep and would naturally wake later if allowed. I struggled to concentrate for hours on end at school, especially when faced with boring subjects (or teachers!). University gave me more freedom to study on my own terms, and I found I was far more capable and enthusiastic about learning.

But why? Does it need to be this way?

I know my husband (who is far more pragmatic) would say you cannot run a school to an individual’s schedule - it just cannot be done. I know that. But I do like to question the norm.

After all, life didn’t always used to be like this.

We once lived far more in sync with nature - guided by the rising and setting of the sun, the changing seasons, and our own internal rhythms. Our bodies naturally follow cycles: a daily rhythm that wakes us with light and winds us down with darkness, shorter waves of energy and rest throughout the day, and longer seasonal or hormonal cycles that influence how much we do or rest.

Life had a natural ebb and flow. There were periods of activity - gathering, hunting, preparing - and periods of rest. We ate what was in season. Winter was slower, quieter, more restful. Summer was fuller and more active. Our days began with daylight and ended when it faded, meaning there was more built-in rest, especially in the darker months.

Somewhere along the way, our society radically changed. Now, we’re constantly praised for doing more, achieving bigger things, and never slowing down. Success often means cramming more into our days, not listening to our bodies. But the truth is, we can’t keep achieving at that pace without paying a price.

In essence, we’ve been taught to stop listening - and to become slaves to the unnatural expectations of society.

At some point, we have to wake up to our own needs.

And so I’m learning to pause, to question these expectations, and to find a gentler way of achieving - and living. I experienced a strong pull to turn inward - to nurture myself, to slow down, and to really listen to my emotions and what my body needs. And honestly? It’s been hard.

Because that old programming is still there.

The voice that says: you should be doing more… seeing more clients… earning more… achieving more every day.

It asks: Shouldn’t you work 9 to 5 like everyone else? Why are there still a hundred things on your work to-do list? What have you even achieved today? Why have you got up so late?

But now, I’m starting to question that voice.

Why do I need to do any of that? Hang on - I’m meant to be my own boss?

What do I tell my own clients? I say it’s important to be compassionate with yourself. Your body holds wisdom, and listening matters. So I started listening to the advice I give others.

I recognised that pushy, critical voice - and where it has led me before: to overwork, to ignoring pain, to pushing through when I needed rest. It has led to repetitive strain injury, neck and back pain, overwhelm, fatigue, anxiety, and burnout.

Our bodies are wise. They will make us stop if we don’t choose to. This is what I see every day with my clients.

The more we listen, the more we tune in, the better we become at understanding what we truly need. And from there, we can respond wisely.

We can begin to find our own natural rhythm.

A rhythm that tells us when it’s time to work, to rest, to sleep, to eat. When it’s time to cry, to connect, to nurture ourselves, to exercise… or even to scream.

And we’re all different. We can’t live by someone else’s rhythm.

I’m an introvert, so I know I need time alone most days - especially after socialising. I need around eight hours of sleep. I don’t always need breakfast. I eat lunch when my body tells me it’s time. It takes my mind a while to wind down at night. My husband gets by on less sleep, can nap during the day, and still fall asleep within minutes at night (damn him!).

Of course, living this way in the modern world isn’t always easy.

I’m lucky - I can organise much of my behind-the-scenes work to suit my own rhythm. But I still need to be there for my clients at set times. I like to eat dinner with my family, so that’s one anchor in the day.

And my cats… well, they expect to be fed exactly on time. (Although, to be fair, one of them would happily eat constantly.)

Maybe it’s not about rejecting structure entirely, but about softening it - allowing space for our natural rhythms within it.

There are small, gentle ways we can begin to reconnect.

Start listening to your body. Listen for when you’re tired. Notice what drains you - and what gives you energy. Pay attention to your emotions; they’re often pointing you towards what you need or what’s missing.

Take a little time each day to check in with yourself. Even just sitting quietly and noticing how you feel can be enough.

For me, journalling has been a big part of this. It’s how I realised something wasn’t quite right. I noticed a sense of guilt about not doing enough. Instead of pushing it away, I turned towards it. I wrote from that voice that was always telling me to get on with things… and then I noticed another part underneath it - a tired, worn-down part, quietly asking to be heard.

Somewhere in that, I’ve started to find a middle ground.

A way to still move forward and accomplish things - but more slowly, more gently. A way that honours the part of me that needs space, rest, and time to feel.

I trust that I’ll know when I’m ready to pick up the pace again. It won’t come from pressure - it will come as a natural surge of energy.

But for now, I’m learning to honour a slower rhythm.

And maybe that’s where it begins - for all of us.

MH Wellbeing, Maria Hancock MSc GQHP

Specialist in Anxiety, Stress and Chronic Symptoms

Trauma-Informed Somatic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Teacher, SIRPA Pain Recovery Practitioner

Local areas: Horley, Reigate, Redhill in Surrey and Crawley, Horsham, Copthorne in West Sussex. English Speaking Online Therapy.