A Different Way to Work with Anxiety: Learning to Feel Safe in Your Body

Anxiety is one of the most frequent symptoms I help people with. Sometimes it is the biggest symptom, yet often it is present alongside other chronic symptoms such as pain. I know from experience that anxiety can feel horrendous, and quite understandably, we often feel compelled to eradicate it immediately.

When anxiety strikes, our instinct is often to try to make it stop. We might analyse what we’re worrying about, look for reassurance, distract ourselves or try to calm ourselves down. Sometimes these strategies help in the moment, sometimes they make things worse. Usually the anxiety returns, leaving us wondering why we can’t seem to get on top of it.

What if the answer isn’t to fight anxiety, but to learn a different way of responding to it?

Understanding the anxiety cycle

Anxiety is experienced as both thoughts and sensations, such as a racing heart, tightness in the chest, a feeling in the stomach, dizziness or a sense of unease that is difficult to explain.

These sensations can feel uncomfortable, frightening or even threatening. We may interpret them as signs that something is wrong, become afraid of what we’re feeling, and start trying to make the sensations go away.

This can create a cycle: we feel anxious, become alarmed by the anxiety itself, and inadvertently reinforce the sense of threat. The more we monitor, resist or struggle against the feelings, the more attention and significance they can acquire.

Over time, we can become afraid not only of the situations that trigger anxiety, but of anxiety itself.

What if you didn’t have to fight anxiety?

One of the most helpful shifts we can make is to stop treating anxiety as something we must immediately fix or escape from.

This doesn't mean we have to like how anxiety feels, or that we should ignore genuine danger. Rather, it means learning that uncomfortable sensations and emotions can be experienced without automatically interpreting them as a threat.

Instead of trying to push anxiety away, we can begin to meet it with curiosity, kindness and a sense of safety.

This is an approach I have found valuable in my own work and in supporting clients. It draws on ideas explored by Dr Russell Kennedy in his book The Anxiety Prescription, which emphasises the importance of working to be with the sensations of anxiety, rather than trying to change or suppress thoughts.

Why does this approach work?

When we experience anxiety, our nervous system may be responding as though we are under threat, even when there is no immediate danger. Our attention narrows, our body becomes more alert, and we may feel compelled to escape, seek reassurance or find a way to regain control.

If we respond to every anxious sensation as a sign of danger, we can unintentionally strengthen the association between the sensation and the threat.

Learning to turn towards our experience in a calm, non-judgemental way offers a different possibility. We begin to discover that a sensation can be uncomfortable without necessarily being dangerous, and that we don't have to react to every feeling as though it needs to be fixed.

With practice, this can help us develop a different relationship with our internal experiences. Rather than adding fear and resistance to the anxiety that's already there, we begin to cultivate a sense of acceptance and safety.

Importantly, the aim isn't to use a technique to force ourselves to feel calm. That can become another struggle with anxiety. Instead, we practise being present with what is happening, allowing our experience to be there without needing to change it immediately.

Calm may follow, but it isn't something we have to achieve for the practice to be worthwhile.

A simple starting point: the ABCs of anxiety

To help put this approach into practice, I use a gentle framework inspired by Dr Russell Kennedy's work: the ABCs of dealing with anxiety.

This is a brief overview:

• A — Awareness / Allowance: Noticing where you feel the anxiety or "alarm" in your physical body (such as tightness in the chest, throat, or solar plexus) and allowing the sensation to exist without trying to fight or escape it.

• B — Breath / Body: Regulating your breath and bringing your focus down from racing thoughts into physical sensations, using somatic grounding (like placing a hand over your chest).

• C — Compassion / Connection: Offering self-compassion or soothing words to yourself.

It offers a way of bringing awareness to what is happening in the body, using the breath to support our experience, and learning to relate to anxious sensations differently.

Rather than analysing every thought or trying to reassure ourselves that everything is fine, we begin by paying attention to our immediate experience. We learn to notice what we are feeling, approach it with curiosity rather than fear, and give ourselves permission to experience it without struggling against it.

This is a skill that develops gradually. If you have spent years fearing or fighting anxiety, learning to respond differently may feel unfamiliar at first. You don't need to get it right, and you don't need to force yourself to stay with feelings that feel overwhelming. The intention is to approach your experience gently, at a pace that feels manageable.

The invitation is simple: instead of asking, “How do I make this anxiety go away?”, try becoming curious about what it might be like to meet it differently.

You may begin to discover that you can feel anxiety without being quite so frightened of it, and that you have more choice in how you respond than you once believed.

This is such a simple technique, yet (and I understand from my own experience) it can be so very hard to practice, especially when your thoughts are shouting that you are in impending doom! This is why it can be so beneficial to get support from someone who has been there and can help to guide you.

Why not listen to my audio to get you started? "Somatic Tracking for Anxiety Relief" is available on Insight Timer App, (Premium only), and is free to clients under Client Resources.

If you are struggling with anxiety, why not reach out for a free no obligation discovery call?

MH Wellbeing, Maria Hancock MSc GQHP

Specialist in Anxiety, Stress and Chronic Symptoms

Trauma-Informed Somatic Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Teacher, SIRPA Pain Recovery Practitioner

Local areas: Horley, Reigate, Redhill in Surrey and Crawley, Horsham, Copthorne in West Sussex. English Speaking Online Therapy.

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